Reboot Fic: Interlude in Green - Draws Series VI [Pike/Kirk/McCoy, R]

[syredronning]

Title: Interlude in Green (Draws VI)
Author: Acidqueen
Series: Reboot aka ST:XI aka AOS – Draws Series
Codes: Pike/Kirk/McCoy
Rating: R for some vocabulary
Word count: 2200
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns Star Trek, I own my brain.

Author's Note: This is a direct sequel to Domino Effects and may not make much sense without it. They are still on vacation, and the side remark of potential health problems for Chris refers to brain imbalances briefly mentioned in "Domino Effects". When I wrote the story, I thought of it as a simple interlude, but I fear it's more complicated than that. For the other parts of the series, see the Draws series masterpost.

Thanks for the wonderful beta goes to madelf. All remaining flaws are solely mine.

Summary: Being human means having doubts, once in a while. Three snapshots of not so glorious moments.

For the other parts of the series, see Part I: Disciplinary Measures ** Part II: The Game Continues ** Part III: Rochade ** Part IV: Square One ** Part V: Domino Effects


***

Jim Kirk doesn't do jealousy. Especially not when it comes to Bones and Chris.

It's just that when he comes back from another day of climbing with Yushi and finds them asleep, huddled together on the couch in a picture of domestic bliss, it hits him. He wouldn't have minded finding them fucking, but this is suddenly so much harder to take, because it reminds him that the starting point of their threesome was the feelings Chris and Bones have for each other, the thing that crept up on them over the years. While it had been him to push the other two over the threshold of unvoiced attraction and into the action, Jim is well aware that Chris would likely never have started something with him. Jim had been the one to force a package deal on Chris, not because he didn't want to share Bones, but because he wanted Chris so fucking much, for longer than Bones had wanted him.

Jim can't help thinking that the relationship remains a little unbalanced. There had been several things that Chris freely had given to Bones for which Jim had needed to wait or work, and in some moments, he’d die happily if he received the extra smiles, the extra touches that Bones does, the ones that say loudly enough that no matter what Chris feels for him, he still feels more for Bones.

The last time Jim had been in sickbay for a life-or-death surgery, he'd actually been relieved to think that if he died, Bones would have a place to go to on Earth. Although the other two would dismiss the suggestion that they'd be able to live together, Jim thinks they'd have no problem at all. Bones would finally be dirt-side and more relaxed than onboard the Enterprise, and Chris wouldn't be lonely anymore. And judging from the last few days, maybe Chris would have more success with forcing Bones to step away from his "I'm a doctor and need to heal the world, no matter the time of day" complex, and Bones would be the right man to deal with Chris' possibly upcoming health problems.

These thoughts might have been good on his potential death bed, but right now they aren't. It had been okay to have this second climbing trip, because it had been fun and something he wouldn't be able to have again for months, but a part of him suddenly feels pushed aside, as if he's the third wheel. He knows it's mostly because he's exhausted and coming down from an intense adrenaline trip. In half an hour, he'd be fine – he just needs to get over this emotional shit until then. Determined, he passes them and takes a long, hot shower until he's ready to face the outside world again.

When he joins them in the steamy kitchen, Bones greets him with a kiss and a bear hug. Chris is absorbed in throwing together some pasta sauce and Bones stirs the noodles and can't keep his other hand from Jim as if he needs to assess his health by touch, but it's Chris' focus Jim is trying to capture, overwhelmed by the absurdly intense need to get acknowledged.

He finally receives his attention when Chris looks up and says with a smile, "Glad you're back in one piece. The doc would have my head if you fell down a wall."

Jim knows Chris means it jokingly, doesn't mean to imply that he wouldn't care, but right now it hurts. It must have shown in his face, because Chris frowns.

"Anything wrong?"

"Just tired," Jim lies. Chris always assumed this thing between them wouldn't work, and Jim is damn determined to prove him wrong. The frown lingers for a moment, but then Chris' concentration is forced back to the gurgling tomato sauce, and Jim leans forward to steal a noodle from Bones' fork.

When they team up on him after dinner and show him thoroughly how much they've missed him, the white lie turns to truth.

*

Leonard McCoy doesn't do jealousy. He's blessed with not one but two gorgeous men in his life and he'd be damned if he ruined it.

It's just sometimes when they sit together and talk, Chris and Jim form this bubble of Captain's Stuff of which Bones is no part, no matter how closely he's involved with Jim. He can imagine them working together, wonders how it would've been if Jim had made first officer under Chris. Chris never pushes advice onto Jim but he gives it freely when asked, pouring out his memories and thoughts in a way nobody else is privy to, not even Bones at times. Some things stay between the two commanding officers – necessary decisions that still sting, decisions so questionable that the two don't feel comfortable sharing them with him, concerned that his opinion of them might be damaged. No matter how often they use him as their conscience radar – sometimes being captain meant having to switch off said radar.

Now they’re back, high on adrenaline from the day at a ground car racing course he’d sent them on. From what he understands, they’d first competed with each other and then teamed up to bust the records of the local kids. They laugh together, and he captures the moment of unbridled adoration on Jim's face. He knows that the moment Chris had walked into Jim's life, he'd been special to Jim. Jim might not want to disappoint Bones but he does anyway if he feels he must; the only person Jim would always try to avoid disappointing is Chris.

Chris' opinion bears more weight than any father's could ever have, because while no son really likes to take advice from his biological father, it's very different if the role model is chosen. On that recruiting night Jim had made a decision about the position Chris should hold, and so far the man hadn't give him any reason to correct that. There are days in which Bones wishes that when he criticizes Jim for something, Jim would take it less as a challenge and more as the heartfelt suggestion it usually is – would for once nod and accept his words like he would if Chris rendered the same suggestion. But Bones is just his husband and Chris is something else, and at times it rankles.

Someone pokes him. "A penny for your thoughts," Jim says.

"Just wondered if you ever stop talking and start cooking instead," Bones replies, meeting Chris' gaze. Next thing he knows, Jim is sent into the kitchen to cook, while he's pulled aside.

"Come here, man," Chris says and takes him into a hug, lips grazing the skin below Bones' ear. "Thanks for the gift, doc."

"Glad you liked it."

"Did you have a good day?"

"Met some old friends. Good – don't know."

"We'll make it up to you." Hands lace into his hair, shift his head into the perfect position before Chris' lips descend on his. He leans into the kiss, meeting the probing tongue with his own as he pushes the feelings of inadequacy into the back of his brain. Chris is a magnificent man that gives them the pleasure of his company and compassion, and he should just be happy with that.

They totally make it up to him that night.

*

Chris Pike doesn't do jealousy, especially not when it isn't within his rights to feel it. He's allowed to participate in a relationship that's rare and more satisfying than anything else he'd ever been a part of, and damn if he holds grudges about anything.

It just that when Jim and the doc start packing things, and he watches them doing so together with the wordless ease and practice of longtime partners, he feels the twinge of sadness and regret that he's not one of them. Soon they’ll leave the planet together, go on the next mission, on his ship (no, not any longer, just a faint taste of ownership still lingering in the name Enterprise) and they’ll have each other... and he’ll be alone again.

There are moments in which he imagines himself as the captain, with Jim as his first officer and Leonard as CMO, and while it leads to hot fantasies, reality would never have looked like that. He had never taken a lover on his own ship, and he's pretty sure he wouldn't have broken that rule for them. He would've stood apart, watching them from the side lines, and that would have been far worse than what he has now.

Even though he rationally knows that the way it is now is the only way it could work at all, it doesn't stop him from feeling a little doleful as he waits for them at the truck, collar up high against the cool wind, hands deep in his pockets, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Through the window – that window, against which Jim had fucked him spectacularly only days ago – he can see them joking around, their mouths forming words he can't hear. Sees them drawing closer and kissing, and can't stop the surge of envy on seeing their total belonging manifesting in that gesture. No matter how close the three of them are when they're together, no matter how many recordings they share, he'll never have them as completely in his life as they have each other. The thought suddenly hurts like hell, tightening his throat. He clenches his jaw as they step out of the door, locking it in their wake.

"Done thinking, Chris?" the doc asks in passing, as he walks to the back of the car and throws in their bags.

"You know that's not good for you, Admiral," Jim teases him.

Chris just shrugs, not feeling up to a humorous reply.

"Hey Bones – I think we've got a serious case here." Jim examines him closely now, blue eyes raking over his face.

Chris shakes his head with a frown. "Finally done? Let's get started."

"Not like this," the doc says, capturing his arm. "I know that look."

"Do you?" Chris states coolly, with the air of emotional detachment that's his typical defense mechanism. It's also a mechanism that fails spectacularly with these men that know him far too well.

He fights them a little but they draw him into a tight embrace anyway.

"If we had things our way, we’d take you with us," Jim says. "Don't ever think it's easy for us."

"Let it rest, Jim," Chris replies roughly. "Please. I know the deal. It's okay." He lies and can live with it, because he knows everyone has to lie now and then to protect others from pointless hurting. He draws his lovers into kisses, first Jim, then the doc, shuts them up because he doesn't want to talk about it. Finally they give in and he feels their grip releasing, hands moving with a last nudge of his ass, a gentle pat on his shoulder.

He forces a smile on his face before he takes the driver's seat in the truck. They climb in from the other side, Jim taking the seat in the middle, the doc the one next to the other door.

The key turns easily, and the old engine starts with a deep roar before the sound changes into a quieter, pulsing chugging.

"Let's punch it," Chris says, and while the truck doesn't fly, it's still fun to push it to its limits on the rocky road ahead. He shares a quiet laugh with Jim over the way the doc turns greener with every mile, then finally relents and slows down to a more reasonable speed.

"Sometimes I don't know why I keep hanging around with you crazies," the doc murmurs.

"Because you love us too much," Jim says and grins at Chris, before he turns his head and kisses Bones.

"Damn straight," Chris agrees and smiles, this time genuinely.

***

Onto the next story: Maneuvers

Comments

[rubynye.livejournal.com]

AWWWWWWWWWW.

I love that they all have their jealous worries -- and that it's just life, it doesn't ruin them. Too often I've heard that threesomes couldn't possibly work because of jealousy, and this is a lovely demonstration of why that's not necessarily true.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for the feedback! I love to think that threesomes could be made to work although I didn't manage so far but it needs exceptional people, afais :)

[secretsolitaire.livejournal.com]

Oh, I loved this, even if all three of them broke me a little. *hugs all of them*

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I felt like hugging them too.

[jlm121.livejournal.com]

I love this series so damn much. You've captured these remarkable human qualities in each of them and given them incredible presence. That's hard to do in stories.

I loved this section because it's the reality of making this relationship work. The sex is great but each of them brings such baggage to it and their ties are emotionally deep but the physical distance puts a real strain on it.

Did I tell you I loved this? Cause while I am babbling I need to make sure you understand that I do.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you for the great feedback! So glad you like the series and this part of it, and that they come across as living people :)

[izzyfics.livejournal.com]

Love the parallelism here with the jealousy--it worked well in comparing their reactions. Which were awesome, by the way. The emotions and love and allusions to sexytimes... Ah, very nice.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

So glad you like the story! :) Thank you!

[celandineb.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I think the phrase "hurts so good" is the one I need to apply here. Very realistic, that they should each have those feelings of exclusion; love is never fully balanced, can't be.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you for you feedback! I try for realistic so I'm glad it came across like it :)

[shagungu.livejournal.com]

I loved the comparison of the different things that made each of them a bit jealous or insecure. It seemed very realistic to me (and I am a veteran of a group marriage myself). There are always differences between each of the couples within a triad.... things that only two share, and the third is left out of.

I've enjoyed the whole series, especially the recent chapters, and have reread each several times. I'm sure I'll come back to this one as well.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for your feedback! Happy you like the series :) *beams*

It seemed very realistic to me (and I am a veteran of a group marriage myself).

Yeah - unfortunately, some things never really get totally easy, as far as I see, and they're bound to have such moments of insecurities. But I'll give my damnest to keep them as a mostly happy threesome *G*

[mintcloud.livejournal.com]

I think the three of them need to sit down and have a looooooong talk.

And then have hot mansex.

Oh, boys!!!

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Talk, tsk ;) This wouldn't be manly enough.

Let's see how it develops... :) Thanks for the feedback!

[blcwriter.livejournal.com]

This is so perfect, and I'm so glad you did this because threesomes? Hard, hard shit. People feel lonely even in traditional love affairs-- this threesome stuff is way worse for all the negotiation that needs to be done.

Brava.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for the feedback! They all try to do their best - they'll manage :)))

[indigocat.livejournal.com]

I love this series. Interesting how each of them is jealous of what the other two have.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for your feedback! Every couple within a threesome has its own dynamic and special aspects, so it's rather natural to have such moments (unfortunately).

[anruiukimi.livejournal.com]

I'm actually not a big threesome fan most of the time, but you manage to make this work, and work well. :) This is probably the only threesome series I regularly read. :D Thanks a lot!

..the only funny part is reading it when I have my own fic open in the background for editing. 'tis a strange thing when I'm reading about Kirk and Pike being lovers, than going back to editing my dad!Pike and Kirk story. I think my brain boggled there for a moment. ^_~

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Heeheee. Wingfic! Yes! I really like your series.

Thanks for reading and liking mine although it's not your usual preference! I feel honored :)

[ennyousai.livejournal.com]

This addresses one of the issues that I often have with threesomes, namely that I think there's that danger of someone being the odd man out. What that means, though, is that maybe it can take some of the pressure off - different people are there for different reasons. This is just lovely, really.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

What that means, though, is that maybe it can take some of the pressure off - different people are there for different reasons.

So true! There are both aspects - everyone having someone to share things with without it all resting on one shoulder - and the feeling of being left out (even if one decides to leave oneself out of the game for a moment).

Thank you for the feedback!

[claudia-nic.livejournal.com]

I just love the three of them together. And how they get over themselves after indulging in small moments of self pitty. Also, no complaints about this being longer than it was supposed to be. Long is good...long means there is more brilliantness to read : )

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Everyone feels a little self-pitying once in a while but they all do their best to stay out of it :)

Thanks a lot for the feedback!

(And ICON LOVE! :)

[kilala10.livejournal.com]

Daww~ so sweet :3

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[severinne.livejournal.com]

I love what this interlude (yes, it's exactly the right word for it *g*) gives to the rest of the series, and the glimpses you give of each man's insecurities, the bonds shared between the various couplings and while it may sound strange, I can't help but feel that the mutual hints of jealousy, made self-aware and kept in check by each other, really strike a beautiful balance in the relationship all three of them share. None of them is ever truly left out when everyone has an inkling of what that loneliness feels like, and I think that last scene of Pike's regret being openly acknowledged by Kirk and McCoy plays that out in perfect, fleeting detail.

Thanks so much for continuing this series, it made the perfect end to my long weekend. :D

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! They're human, but they're also cool and self-reflective and willing to work for what they want.

.So.In.Love.With.Them. Sigh :)

[graceandfire.livejournal.com]

I loved this look into their psyches and it rings so perfectly true. Being in a relationship with one person can bring out insecurities but with two? There have to be times when they'd feel like this, feel left out, excluded, not as important.

I especially loved the look in Jim's head because it was so unexpected and at the same time rings so true. It surprised me that he wanted Pike so strongly from the beginning but at the same time it makes so much sense. So does the fact that it's not the sex that bothers him, it's the caring

This is one of my favorite parts in this series--and of course I've loved them all :)

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

It surprised me that he wanted Pike so strongly from the beginning

I re-read my own series tonight to check some things, and I actually have Jim say it, namely in "Rochade". But it's easy to forget with Chris/Bones more prominent in the general setup. Jim's quite right with his analysis, he just wouldn't feel so down usually. He's catching up with Bones, and he got Chris to admit that he loves him. So - he's moving up :)

Thanks so much for your feedback!

[weepingnaiad.livejournal.com]

This was just so beautiful! All relationships are hard and prone to insecurities and jealousies and I imagine a threesome would need more and be more, but worth it. I love how you showed that each in his own way feels left out, but that they all understand and intend to keep working on making sure that everyone shares their mutual love.

Really lovely interlude. I loved getting a glimpse inside each of their heads and hearts!

*hugs*
WN

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your feedback! Yeah, they really work on making it work, because beyond the insecurities and the distance, they love each other really too damn much :)

*waves*bounces*

[illariy.livejournal.com]

Oh, I loved the different perspectives on their threesome and how they all share some anxiety over whether they're the third person in a waltz. I read the ending twice and am not sure I entirely get it... my head is still debating whether they resolved that anxiety adequately or not. ;-) Very interesting stuff. Thanks for sharing this!

P.S.: It makes me grin, seeing so many people comment with your lovely P/K/Mc icon.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Many = 2 *G* afais.

Thanks for the feedback! The ending is realistic for me. The issue isn't really resolved, it's something that needs work once in a while but not necessarily talking about it, because that also means bringing it into focus - and that's not something one would do before it's not making serious problems on its own. My take on it and them.

[illariy.livejournal.com]

The issue isn't really resolved, it's something that needs work once in a while but not necessarily talking about it, because that also means bringing it into focus - and that's not something one would do before it's not making serious problems on its own.

And you've just articulated my vague feelings re: the ending. Definitely realistic! I'd just expected something more... dramatic/conclusive, I guess, but that's life. Especially life with men. *g* Oooh, I'm so looking forward to what might happen next.

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Lovely, but sad. Well done.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[sakura-no-miko.livejournal.com]

I haven't read the series, but I liked this in and of itself. I personally find threesomes very alluring--it's got that Freudian sort of comfort to it, the union of a middle and two opposite ends. Id, ego, superego. That sort of thing. And I'm attracted to various bi- things. Biracial, bi-species, bisexual. so this idea of having both, instead of having to choose one or the other, is also pretty appealing.
Of course, as you've shown, it does end up opening up a potential for more problems. Shoot, tons of people can't make peace with themselves, let alone have a relationship with one person. Two? Forget about it. But, i like to think that if you're willing to work hard, communicate, and accept yourself and you other(s), things will work out, no matter how out of the ordinary the relationship is.

So...yay, threesome.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

re things will work out: Yes yes yes :))) If anyone should be able to, then this fabulous men who try to be more than mere mortals in their job every day and are not easily discouraged from a few smaller obstacles in their path.

Thanks a lot for your feedback, I'm happy that the story worked for you also without the surrounding universe.

[gattodoro.livejournal.com]

Still catching up on this series - rationing my reading because its WAY too good to just be gobbled up, though damn its hard to resist. Anyway, I just love your description of the dynamics between the three and how there are necessarily experiences/feelings that are only shared between two of the three, but how they make it work because they are truly exceptional people and very much committed to each other in equal measure.

Thanks from an emotionally satisifed reader!

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for this feedback! So glad the series and their threesome relationship works for you :) *beams*

[monkiainen.livejournal.com]

Oh guys, you silly fools. Stop being jealous for no apparent reason! :)

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

The problem is that people just can't always stop feeling a little jealous over this or that - it's only human, I think :) But they manage quite well.

Thanks for the feedback! :)

[faithsummers80.livejournal.com]

Been gone so long, I had to re-read and remember...and yep it is still awesome the second time!

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Awww, thank you! :)))))

[abigail89.livejournal.com]

Oh my, they're all just a bunch of w00bie boys! I love this brief glimpse into their insecurities and immaturities. I imagine this is what it would be like to be in a threesome: there's always that possibility of 'you love him more than me' developing unless everyone truly doesn't 'do' jealousy. Very nice insight.

[syredronning.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

For all I know and saw, there will always be moments in even the best-working poly relationship where things are weighted a little, emotions are a little hurt (hey, it happens in twosomes, and polysomes are more complicated), but they'll always manage, I promise!