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syredronningTitle: Misfits
Author: Acidqueen
Series: TOS
Codes: S/Su
Rating: R for adult themes
Author's note: I owe Sally (maximum) something for this Spock/Sulu bunny. Many thanks to roadstergal for her great beta, and to Sally for pointing out a flaw in weapon choice! All remaining errors are mine.
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own Star Trek, I own my brain. No infringement intended, no money being made.
Archive: My own site at http://www.syredronning.de , ASCEM, all others ask, please.
Summary: They didn't fit into the crowd, but who needs to…
***
He was born in San Francisco, but he had grown up at the edge of the colonist worlds. He had flown small star ships for years, but on Earth, he wasn't allowed to drive a ground car. He was at Starfleet academy, the place of his dreams - but it was proving to be hell.
After trying to improve for months without success, Hikaru Sulu was close to giving up.
But he had been taught that a Japanese did not give up. It was a point of honor. He wouldn't be able to go back to his parents and admit his failure on the one thing that he had wanted. No excuses or explanations would be sufficient. In his very desperate adolescent mind, there was only one solution to the problem.
He planned everything diligently. The right place, in the Japanese garden; the right clothes, a white kimono; the right weapon, his wakizashi sword. He gave himself time; he still tried to persist under the incredible academy pressure and the rejection from his peers because of where he came from and how he spoke, but there was an end to the strength of a teenage boy, and it came when he failed the first courses. A few more, and he would be expelled. He didn't want to wait for this to happen.
The early morning was bright and clear; it was a cool summer's morning with the upcoming heat already tingeing the air. There was nobody in the garden at this time, and his steps were very quiet as he walked along the stone path and finally onto the grass near a little pond. It briefly crossed his mind that the grass would leave green stains on his kimono, but after this, it really would not matter. He knelt down into Seiza, his eyes on the setting sun, and put the medium-sized sword down in front of him. He would meditate for a moment; he was shaking slightly, but not enough to make him want to stop. It was a logical solution. But when he closed his eyes, he heard steps drawing near. There was someone behind him; he could almost feel the other one's legs brush against his back.
He opened his eyes but did not turn. The pond's water was barely moving; only the slightest brush of a breeze curled the surface.
"Good morning," the person said. It was a young man's voice, and he sat down next to Sulu. He didn't say anything else; he merely breathed evenly. Finally, Sulu turned his head to look at the newcomer.
It was a Vulcan - he was at the academy too, in a higher year. Sulu had seen him from a distance a few times, faintly fascinated without knowing how to get closer. The Vulcan wore a short robe over dark pants, and his hands were loosely resting on his folded legs, eyes closed; he looked as if he were meditating.
With a sigh, Sulu closed his own eyes too. He didn't feel like moving. This had been the perfect spot, the perfect morning…but now there was someone else, someone from a culture with many values in common with his own, but with at least one big difference; Vulcans were sworn to life. He would have dealt with a discussion, but he was unable to find a fitting defense to meditative silence. His hands stopped shaking, but as they did, he also lost his determination. His mind was blank. With the thought of death slowly vanishing, there was no goal, no new path to follow. He was lost, and he stayed in this terrified state until there was a movement next to him. He quickly looked at the Vulcan, fearing he might leave without a word. Their eyes met.
"Why did you do that?" Sulu asked.
"Any loss of life would be regrettable," the Vulcan said.
"But I don't know how to go on." Sulu lowered his gaze to the ground.
"It can be challenging to attend the academy if one is outstanding."
"Outstanding?" Sulu said blankly. "I'm only outstanding in my failures."
"You won the fencing competition, as first freshman and non-Earth citizen. You are also one of the youngest students ever admitted. Do you think they took you by chance?"
Sulu thought of the number of people that applied every year in comparison to the small number they accepted, and shook his head. "No."
"Despite their reputation, many Humans have difficulties accepting people that are different from them. While diversity is the motto of the academy, many students nonetheless have to learn to embed this teaching into their lives."
"Very true," Sulu said, his chin setting over some memories of his peers' insults.
"I share your pain, Hikaru Sulu, and am willing to support you in solving your problems."
Sulu looked up. "I would be eternally grateful…"
"Spock. My name is Spock," the young Vulcan replied.
They didn't shake hands, but their locked gaze was promise enough.
Spock became Sulu's mentor and cherished 'older brother'. He also became Sulu's lover. Stranger things had happened in the universe; in a way, it was only logical. Their courtship followed rules, both Vulcan and Japanese; the symbols for their attachment were small things at first, maybe a little origami bird or a decorative parchment roll. Later, there were haikus and Vulcan hexameters. It was nothing the outside world ever registered, a quiet love amidst the loud, human-centric academy crowd. Their first lovemaking didn't start in bed; it started from kneeling face to face, exploring each other with eyes and hands, Vulcan fingertips opening new worlds. They were never messy or rough, never loud; instead, it flowed much like a ritual yet to be written, governed by rules yet to be invented. Delicate and sensitive, they could have lain in a bed of cherry blossoms and not crushed them. There was an airy element to their connection, despite their very solid bodies on the edge of adulthood, and at times Sulu wondered if the Vulcan had been sent by well-meaning fairies.
The Asian's grades became better. He passed most of his failed courses by retest. Once a student was enrolled, the academy always offered second chances; one only had to fight for his cause with the teachers. It was an unwritten part of the curriculum, one of the many Spock informed him about. By the end of the first year, there was no danger of Sulu being expelled anymore. That was something to be celebrated, Sulu thought, and he invited Spock to a special Japanese dinner in a small restaurant. There were orchids on the table and rare vegetarian dishes on the plates. The food was barely spiced, the natural flavors a celebration for their senses. Afterwards, they went to the Japanese garden where they had met the first time. The sun was going down, and side by side they watched the play of colors until the grey of the night won out.
"I have an assignment," Spock said finally, softly.
"You are worthy of it, older brother," Sulu replied after a moment of silence. "When are you going to leave?"
"In four days."
Sulu nodded. He knew that Spock's last days on Earth would be full of preparations. What he had planned to be a celebration of the past and future suddenly was cast with the sadness of farewell.
They went to Spock's room and stayed together the whole night, the first and only time. Sulu prepared the morning tea, the last gift of love, and they sipped it kneeling on the floor, face to face. Then he bent low three times. "You saved my life, older brother. I can never repay this."
"You can repay by pursuing and succeeding in your goals, my student," the Vulcan stated, as calm as always.
"I will." There were many other things Sulu wanted to say, but his ingrained reserve forbade more words. He left to face another early morning; summer was about to turn to autumn, the first fallen leaves covering the path to the dormitory. He could have mourned his loss, but there was a life to live and a debt to pay, and so there was a smile on his lips as the first sunrays cut through the clouds, bathing him in brilliant light.
***
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 12:40 pm (UTC)I love the atmosphere of this story. The no frills style, so to speak. It has this serene feeling about it that... anyway. When I started to read, the pairing seemed unlikely but well, it contained Spock *points to icon*
It makes sense that, if the two did meet at the Academy, they would find a common ground easily. Spock's calm, rational arguments remind me of the time he reasoned with Garrovick (sp?) in Obsession.
And the description of their first physical intimacy is just... sweet. *beams*
I don't know why I never saw the possibility of this pairing before. ;-)
Thanks for sharing!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 12:50 pm (UTC)In all honesty, I had a very hard time to picture Spock and Sulu together, that's why I wrote academy fic ;) In TOS, I happen to have other main pairings *points at icon* and there's not much place for S/Su. So I'm extra glad this story sounded believable to you :))
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 01:08 pm (UTC)I was actually quite surprised about liking the intimacy paragraph best because I don't read for the sex usually. I think maybe it is because it's quite a change from either the rrrawrrr-Spock-in-pon-farr scenes or the super romantic fluff!Spock? Anyway, it works :-)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 01:44 pm (UTC)I like rational Spock the most, though I also love pon farr *admits*. However, I try not to get fluffy because most of the time that sounds so un-Spockish to me...
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 01:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 02:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 01:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-04-12 05:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 07:03 pm (UTC)I absolutely loved this!
I loved the Vulcan/Zen atmosphere in your plot.
I'm watching a great Japanese series, and I think I can see a bunny with green blood wearing a kimono hopping towards me.
Thanks a lot!
^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 07:06 pm (UTC)Actually, I have no clue about Japan and I don't watch any anime, so I'm double-pleased that it didn't sink with you *g*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-12 07:23 pm (UTC)There are a few Japanese things I bet you'd like... *wink*